1
00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:04,427
I think it's time to confront a secret...

2
00:00:04,530 --> 00:00:06,259
I've been carrying all these years.

3
00:00:06,365 --> 00:00:08,060
I have located
the missing twin.

4
00:00:08,167 --> 00:00:09,896
I don't have a sister.

5
00:00:10,002 --> 00:00:12,334
We need something
dramatic, daring...

6
00:00:12,438 --> 00:00:14,906
- unexpected.
- <i>Pygmalion.!</i>

7
00:00:15,007 --> 00:00:16,907
It's impossible, absurd
and dangerous!

8
00:00:17,009 --> 00:00:18,738
It's dramatic,
daring, unexpected.

9
00:00:20,913 --> 00:00:23,507
I'm going to grind you
to little pieces.

10
00:00:23,616 --> 00:00:25,481
[ Screams ]

11
00:02:16,077 --> 00:02:17,977
Ah, thank you.

12
00:02:21,883 --> 00:02:23,783
Ahh.

13
00:02:25,286 --> 00:02:29,154
<i> [ Doorbell,</i>
<i>"Battle Hymn Of The Republic'']</i>

14
00:02:29,257 --> 00:02:32,590
- Stirring, eh?
- My.

15
00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:36,755
- Well, shall we try another chorus?
- May I help you?

16
00:02:36,864 --> 00:02:39,230
Remington Steele.
I have an appointment to see Mr. Crockett.

17
00:02:39,334 --> 00:02:41,427
- You're late.
- Really?

18
00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:43,436
I have 1 0:00,
uh, straightaway.

19
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:45,733
You're also slow.

20
00:02:53,448 --> 00:02:55,678
And who might you be,
young woman?

21
00:02:55,783 --> 00:02:57,944
I'm Laura Holt,
Mr. Steele's associate.

22
00:02:58,052 --> 00:02:59,952
[ Clicks Tongue ]

23
00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:04,718
I'm sorry, madam, but Mr. Crockett
wishes to see Mr. Steele alone.

24
00:03:04,826 --> 00:03:08,557
Miss Holt and I work very closely.
Perhaps if you told Mr. Crockett that, um-

25
00:03:08,663 --> 00:03:13,464
Nothing personal. It's just that he does not
believe women ought to be doing men's work.

26
00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:17,800
Doesn't believe they ought to be doing it
or doesn't believe they're <i>capable</i> of doing it?

27
00:03:17,905 --> 00:03:21,636
- A little of each, I suspect.
- Uh-huh.

28
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:24,303
What say we take off,
have brunch and catch a movie?

29
00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:26,312
No, no, no.
You go on in.

30
00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:29,349
- I'll wait here and clean the drapes
or do some laundry. - Oh, yes.

31
00:03:29,450 --> 00:03:31,008
This way, sir.

32
00:03:31,119 --> 00:03:33,644
- Certainly.Just-
- Mm-hmm.

33
00:03:36,057 --> 00:03:38,184
<i>[ Coughing ]</i>

34
00:03:40,395 --> 00:03:43,023
Mr. Steele has finally arrived.

35
00:03:43,131 --> 00:03:45,497
<i>[ Man ]</i>
<i>That will be all, Markham.</i>

36
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:49,998
Well, let's have a look at you.

37
00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:53,164
Shall I stand at attention
or will parade rest do?

38
00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:55,174
You're not an American, are you?

39
00:03:55,276 --> 00:04:00,441
No, but I'm inordinately fond of Mom,
apple pie, and baseball, if that will help.

40
00:04:00,548 --> 00:04:02,448
[ Laughs ]

41
00:04:02,550 --> 00:04:06,111
Well, what the hell.
You can't have everything.

42
00:04:06,220 --> 00:04:10,452
You come highly recommended.
Fine reputation.

43
00:04:10,558 --> 00:04:13,288
Here, help me up.

44
00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:20,325
Exactly what can the Remington Steele
Agency do for you, uh, Mr. Crockett?

45
00:04:20,435 --> 00:04:25,737
Twenty-nine years ago, I adopted
a daughter. Maybe you've heard of her.

46
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:29,640
Tracy Crockett, a bit
of a jet-setter from what I've read.

47
00:04:29,744 --> 00:04:32,872
Flake would be a better word.

48
00:04:32,980 --> 00:04:38,509
You have no idea how many gigolos I've had
to pay off, how many cops I've had to bribe...

49
00:04:38,619 --> 00:04:42,214
how many times I've had to
repurchase all her earthly possessions...

50
00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:44,223
from fad religious groups.

51
00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:46,919
Which of the above
concerns you now?

52
00:04:47,028 --> 00:04:49,963
[ Sighs ]
If it were only that simple.

53
00:04:50,064 --> 00:04:52,692
[ Wheezes, Coughs ]

54
00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:55,735
Now that I've landed
at death's door...

55
00:04:55,837 --> 00:05:01,332
I think it's time to confront a secret
I've been carrying all these years.

56
00:05:01,442 --> 00:05:05,845
Tracy's got a sister out there,
adopted by somebody else.

57
00:05:05,947 --> 00:05:11,146
More than a sister, actually,
a twin, an identical twin.

58
00:05:12,587 --> 00:05:15,385
The adoption agency
decided to split 'em up.

59
00:05:15,490 --> 00:05:19,051
<i>I didn't find out about it</i>
<i>until much, much later.</i>

60
00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:21,628
Yes, I've-I've heard of
similar instances.

61
00:05:24,132 --> 00:05:26,191
- Oh.
- Ah!

62
00:05:26,300 --> 00:05:30,930
This... is all
that concerns you.

63
00:05:31,038 --> 00:05:32,972
Twenty years ago...

64
00:05:33,074 --> 00:05:37,909
I hired another detective agency
to locate Tracy's sister.

65
00:05:39,147 --> 00:05:42,241
[ Sighs ]
All the information is in there.

66
00:05:42,350 --> 00:05:46,684
[ Breathing Heavily ]
I didn't do anything about it.

67
00:05:46,788 --> 00:05:50,383
Too uncomfortable
with the situation...

68
00:05:50,491 --> 00:05:53,722
too reluctant
to share Tracy...

69
00:05:53,828 --> 00:05:57,628
with someone
that uniquely close to her.

70
00:05:59,167 --> 00:06:01,499
[ Coughs ]

71
00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:04,804
[ Exhales ]

72
00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:07,067
Find her, Mr. Steele.

73
00:06:07,175 --> 00:06:11,703
Don't talk to her.
Don't tell Tracy.Just find her.

74
00:06:11,813 --> 00:06:15,874
[ Grunts, Exhales ]

75
00:06:15,983 --> 00:06:19,146
I'll decide what to do
from there on.

76
00:06:20,721 --> 00:06:25,158
Oh, Father, Father, Father.
I was in Rome when I got the news.

77
00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:27,625
- You poor man!
- Mmm.

78
00:06:27,728 --> 00:06:29,628
How long does
the doctor say you have?

79
00:06:29,730 --> 00:06:31,823
He won't even hazard a guess.

80
00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:34,367
Mmm. Well, what do you think then?

81
00:06:34,468 --> 00:06:36,698
I booked a return flight
for day after tomorrow.

82
00:06:36,804 --> 00:06:38,465
- Oh.
- Too soon?

83
00:06:38,573 --> 00:06:40,268
- Mmm.
- Too late?

84
00:06:40,374 --> 00:06:42,706
Maybe you better
stay around for a while.

85
00:06:42,810 --> 00:06:45,210
Oh. What about Rudolpho?

86
00:06:45,313 --> 00:06:47,213
Oh, forget him.

87
00:06:52,687 --> 00:06:56,054
You, uh, wouldn't happen
to be Italian, would you?

88
00:06:56,157 --> 00:06:58,250
Fraid not.

89
00:06:59,594 --> 00:07:02,324
Will you be needing me
anymore today, Miss Crockett?

90
00:07:02,430 --> 00:07:06,958
- No, Eric. That will be all.
- <i>[ Door Closes ]</i>

91
00:07:07,068 --> 00:07:10,367
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm sure you'd
like some time alone with your father.

92
00:07:10,471 --> 00:07:14,464
Wherever did you get that idea?

93
00:07:14,575 --> 00:07:18,671
Surely you can hang on for a few more hours,
while I go shopping. Now couldn't you, dear?

94
00:07:18,779 --> 00:07:20,679
- [ Sighs ] Shopping?
- Mm-hmm.

95
00:07:20,781 --> 00:07:24,114
I suppose I'll still be breathing
when you come back.

96
00:07:24,218 --> 00:07:26,743
Oh, fine.
Then I'll see you for tea.

97
00:07:26,854 --> 00:07:28,788
- Mm-hmm.
- Ta-ta.

98
00:07:36,197 --> 00:07:38,791
You can tell me
it's none of my business, uh...

99
00:07:38,900 --> 00:07:41,460
but you seem rather callous
about your father's condition.

100
00:07:41,569 --> 00:07:43,833
Well, to the naked eye, perhaps.

101
00:07:43,938 --> 00:07:46,907
The truth is,
it's a game Father and I play with each other.

102
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:49,533
You see, he's been dying
for 1 5 years.

103
00:07:49,644 --> 00:07:53,478
But he does have a knack for having
seizures or fits, or whatever they are...

104
00:07:53,581 --> 00:07:57,779
in the nick of time to get me back home
before I disgrace him any further.

105
00:07:57,885 --> 00:07:59,785
I don't believe we've met.

106
00:07:59,887 --> 00:08:04,847
Oh, Freida Milch, Tracy Crockett.
I'm Darren MacGuffin.

107
00:08:04,959 --> 00:08:07,519
- Hmm, friends of Father's?
- Exactly.

108
00:08:07,628 --> 00:08:09,528
Perhaps we'll see you again.

109
00:08:09,630 --> 00:08:12,565
Mmm, if you were Italian,
you could count on it.

110
00:08:13,935 --> 00:08:17,427
- If it's any consolation, I love linguine.
- [ Laughs ]

111
00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:19,438
Good day.

112
00:08:27,748 --> 00:08:29,739
It was one thing
when you didn't exist...

113
00:08:29,850 --> 00:08:32,751
and I was putting things over
on those sexist dogs out there...

114
00:08:32,853 --> 00:08:35,447
but, now, I simply cannot
stomach it anymore.

115
00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:38,423
Laura, I was quite content
not to take the case.

116
00:08:38,526 --> 00:08:43,486
Oh, no, no, no. The last thing I need
is a man protecting my honor.

117
00:08:43,597 --> 00:08:47,863
<i>I am fully capable of taking care</i>
<i>of myself. That is the point.!</i>

118
00:08:47,969 --> 00:08:49,869
- Okay.
- <i>What</i> do you want, Mildred?

119
00:08:49,971 --> 00:08:53,668
W-Well, between the computer and the
information that Ross Crockett gave you...

120
00:08:53,774 --> 00:08:56,470
I have located the missing twin.

121
00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:58,477
I'm sorry I snapped at you, Mildred.

122
00:08:58,579 --> 00:09:02,140
Oh, that's all right, Miss Holt. We girls
get a little temperamental at times.

123
00:09:02,249 --> 00:09:04,979
Thank you ever
so much, Mildred. Yes.

124
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,179
- I am here to serve, chief.
- <i>Oh.</i>

125
00:09:07,288 --> 00:09:09,119
[ Kissing Noise ]

126
00:09:11,192 --> 00:09:13,626
Why don't you soak in a hot tub,
take a little herb tea...

127
00:09:13,728 --> 00:09:15,628
and read one of those
romance novels?

128
00:09:15,730 --> 00:09:17,857
That helps me get through
those emotional days.

129
00:09:24,572 --> 00:09:28,508
Yes. Uh, Mr. Crockett, please.
Remington Steele here.

130
00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:30,509
What?

131
00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:33,770
When?

132
00:09:33,881 --> 00:09:37,840
Oh, I see. Yes. Um, thank you.
Yes, I understand.

133
00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:40,216
Well?

134
00:09:40,321 --> 00:09:43,222
Apparently Ross Crockett was a better
actor than we gave him credit for.

135
00:09:43,324 --> 00:09:45,383
He just convinced his doctor
he was dead.

136
00:09:58,339 --> 00:10:00,239
I still don't feel right
about this.

137
00:10:00,341 --> 00:10:03,708
Ross Crockett was our client, and he wasn't
even sure he was going to tell his daughter.

138
00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:05,711
- Tracy would want to know, believe me.
-[ Doorbell ]

139
00:10:05,813 --> 00:10:08,509
You're just sensitive about someone
having a secret past.

140
00:10:08,616 --> 00:10:10,880
Laura, it's one thing
to conceal your past by design...

141
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:13,078
another thing to have it
concealed from you.

142
00:10:13,187 --> 00:10:16,782
- Oh.
- [ Doorbell, " Battle Hymn OfThe Republic'' ]

143
00:10:16,891 --> 00:10:18,882
I'm growing rather fond
of this little ditty.

144
00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:23,191
We're here to read the last will
and testament of Ross Crockett Sr.

145
00:10:23,297 --> 00:10:25,527
Loving husband.

146
00:10:25,633 --> 00:10:27,032
Forgiving father.

147
00:10:30,337 --> 00:10:33,067
- Trusting partner.
- [ Chuckles ]

148
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:34,573
Loyal employer.

149
00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:37,701
Oh. Nice of you
to notice me, sir.

150
00:10:37,812 --> 00:10:43,682
An estate the size of Mr. Crockett's
naturally demands precise instructions.

151
00:10:43,784 --> 00:10:48,118
Most of this is legal boilerplate,
but I think I can give you the gist of it.

152
00:10:48,222 --> 00:10:51,282
[ Laughs ]

153
00:10:51,392 --> 00:10:55,954
[ Continues Laughing ]

154
00:10:56,063 --> 00:10:58,554
Tracy gets everything.

155
00:11:00,734 --> 00:11:03,635
Uh, I'd like a clarification.

156
00:11:03,737 --> 00:11:05,932
Why, certainly,Junior.
You lose. You all lose.

157
00:11:23,424 --> 00:11:25,324
Hello!

158
00:11:30,397 --> 00:11:32,297
[ Sighs ]

159
00:11:35,136 --> 00:11:37,104
Miss Crockett,
we don't mean to intrude.

160
00:11:37,204 --> 00:11:39,104
We're terribly sorry about your father.

161
00:11:39,206 --> 00:11:44,405
Oh, well, the game is over.
Daddy was serious this time.

162
00:11:44,512 --> 00:11:47,811
If I hadn't been so self-centered,
I might have realized it.

163
00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:51,407
Your father was very concerned
about your emotional well-being.

164
00:11:51,519 --> 00:11:56,388
Well, he certainly took care of that.

165
00:11:56,490 --> 00:12:00,790
You know, he- He couldn't
control me while he was alive...

166
00:12:00,895 --> 00:12:03,523
so now he's found a way
to do it from the grave.

167
00:12:03,631 --> 00:12:05,758
[ Chuckles ]
Do you know what he's done?

168
00:12:05,866 --> 00:12:09,802
He- He left me
all his company stock.

169
00:12:09,904 --> 00:12:15,308
Yes, provided I become chairman of the
board at the next stockholders' meeting.

170
00:12:15,409 --> 00:12:18,242
Otherwise, his entire estate
will go to charity...

171
00:12:18,345 --> 00:12:21,178
and Uncle Norman will
take over Crockett Industries.

172
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:24,581
- Uncle Norman?
- No doubt the grim-faced gentleman with the Rolls-Royce.

173
00:12:24,685 --> 00:12:30,624
<i>Well, I am not going to go through life</i>
<i>thinking I let my father down.</i>

174
00:12:30,724 --> 00:12:35,388
I'm not going to blow the one real chance
I have of making something of my life.

175
00:12:36,864 --> 00:12:39,833
Damn him! So much
for my trip to Rome.

176
00:12:39,934 --> 00:12:41,834
<i>[ Steele ]</i>
<i>Uh, Miss Crockett, ah...</i>

177
00:12:41,936 --> 00:12:44,461
we haven't been
entirely candid with you.

178
00:12:44,572 --> 00:12:46,199
What do you mean,
Mr. MacGuffin?

179
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:50,607
Actually, uh, I'm Remington Steele,
and this is my associate, Laura Holt.

180
00:12:50,711 --> 00:12:53,407
We're private investigators
hired by your father.

181
00:12:53,514 --> 00:12:55,914
Hired to do what?

182
00:12:56,016 --> 00:12:58,041
Locate your sister.

183
00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:00,177
I don't have a sister.

184
00:13:02,223 --> 00:13:04,657
According to these,
you do.

185
00:13:11,699 --> 00:13:14,361
Oh, my God!

186
00:13:14,468 --> 00:13:16,493
I didn't know.

187
00:13:16,604 --> 00:13:18,504
A twin sister.

188
00:13:18,606 --> 00:13:20,506
[ Chuckles ]

189
00:13:20,608 --> 00:13:25,602
You may not believe this, but I-
I always felt like I wasn't entirely whole...

190
00:13:25,713 --> 00:13:29,342
like some part of me
was missing.

191
00:13:29,450 --> 00:13:32,942
Does that make any sense?

192
00:13:33,053 --> 00:13:36,853
W-Well, who is she? Where is she?
Can you find her?

193
00:13:36,957 --> 00:13:40,859
<i>I don't care how much it costs.</i>
<i>You bring her to me.!</i>

194
00:13:40,961 --> 00:13:44,055
[ Exhales ]
My sister.

195
00:13:44,164 --> 00:13:46,792
[ Chuckles ]
My identical twin.

196
00:13:47,868 --> 00:13:50,098
Is that it, stud?

197
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:52,536
Chicken san,
wheat, mayo, fries!

198
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,972
- Hey, Roxie. How about a little more ketchup?
- Yep.

199
00:13:55,075 --> 00:13:58,738
Hey, Roxie. How about a little bit of this?
I got the 1 0-wheeler today, the big rig.

200
00:13:58,846 --> 00:14:01,679
If it ain't on the menu,
Freddy, it ain't available!

201
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:07,051
Ah, you need menus.

202
00:14:07,154 --> 00:14:09,816
You want to read,
go to the library.

203
00:14:09,923 --> 00:14:12,517
- Roxie Tyler?
- That's me.

204
00:14:12,626 --> 00:14:14,651
Uh, we're here
about your sister.

205
00:14:14,762 --> 00:14:17,492
Then you got the wrong Roxie Tyler,
'cause I ain't got no sister.

206
00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:21,500
What is this?

207
00:14:21,602 --> 00:14:23,627
One of them trick photos
where you take somebody's head...

208
00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:25,796
and you stick it on
somebody else's person?

209
00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:28,932
<i>Roxie, this is a copy</i>
<i>of your sister's birth certificate...</i>

210
00:14:29,043 --> 00:14:30,943
and this is a copy of yours.

211
00:14:31,045 --> 00:14:34,139
Same date of birth,
same natural parents.

212
00:14:35,316 --> 00:14:37,784
This is
<i>Candid Camera,</i> right?

213
00:14:37,885 --> 00:14:40,877
[ Laughs ]
Where is it? Where ya got it hidin'?

214
00:14:44,858 --> 00:14:47,326
You're serious, aren't you?

215
00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:49,658
If you'd like, we can take you
back with us.

216
00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:51,663
Tracy wants to meet you.

217
00:14:51,765 --> 00:14:53,995
Tracy.

218
00:14:57,037 --> 00:15:00,370
Are you sure this ain't
<i>Candid Camera?</i>

219
00:15:09,383 --> 00:15:11,351
[ Steele ]
That's odd. The door's unlocked.

220
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:16,178
- Tracy?
- Tracy!

221
00:15:23,897 --> 00:15:29,426
" Changed my mind. Decided to go to Rome
and see Rudolpho. Love, Tracy.''

222
00:15:29,536 --> 00:15:31,902
Hey, what's goin' on here?

223
00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:45,577
Well, it looks like our bird's
flown the coop after all.

224
00:15:45,686 --> 00:15:48,655
What kind of a game
are you playin' here?

225
00:15:48,756 --> 00:15:52,852
Is this one of them weird things where some
rich guy pays you to go out and bring back girls?

226
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:55,758
-Just-
- Tracy Crockett may be the flake her father claims.

227
00:15:55,863 --> 00:15:59,526
- But she's never going to get to Rome
without this. - What is it?

228
00:15:59,633 --> 00:16:01,999
Her passport.

229
00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:09,901
Thank you. You've been a great help.

230
00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:11,910
That was the last airline to Rome.

231
00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:14,207
It doesn't have a reservation
for Tracy Crockett either.

232
00:16:14,314 --> 00:16:18,045
We have to assume she wasn't killed. They
would have done it here and gotten it over with.

233
00:16:18,152 --> 00:16:20,950
- Does that mean my sister's been snatched?
- It's beginning to look that way.

234
00:16:21,054 --> 00:16:22,954
- Well, it's no wonder.
- Oh?

235
00:16:23,056 --> 00:16:25,786
I mean, she must be loaded.
Look at this stuff.

236
00:16:25,893 --> 00:16:29,454
Must be worth a fortune. Not one
of these things says " Made in Taiwan.''

237
00:16:29,563 --> 00:16:31,428
Someone's trying to make it appear...

238
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:34,501
<i>as if Tracy had no intentions</i>
<i>of taking over her father's company.</i>

239
00:16:34,601 --> 00:16:37,092
Well, we certainly have
a laundry list of suspects.

240
00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:40,765
<i>[ Laura ] None of those people seemed</i>
<i>terribly happy after the reading of the will.</i>

241
00:16:40,874 --> 00:16:44,776
<i>Crockett had some things in his wall safe that</i>
<i>were definitely not for public consumption.</i>

242
00:16:44,878 --> 00:16:47,438
Now perhaps-
perhaps that's our starting point.

243
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,641
<i>[ Laura ]</i>
<i>The stockholders'meeting is in two days.</i>

244
00:16:49,750 --> 00:16:52,310
<i>That doesn't give us time</i>
<i>to be methodical.</i>

245
00:16:52,419 --> 00:16:54,387
<i>We need something dramatic...</i>

246
00:16:54,488 --> 00:16:58,219
daring, unexpected
to flush out our kidnapper.

247
00:16:58,325 --> 00:17:00,225
- <i>Pygmalion.!</i>
- What?

248
00:17:00,327 --> 00:17:05,094
- Who?
- Leslie Howard, Wendy Hiller, MGM, uh, 1 938.

249
00:17:05,199 --> 00:17:08,794
Or, for those who enjoyed the musical
version, <i>My Fair Lady.</i>

250
00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:12,804
- Oh, I know that one.
- Are you suggesting we transform this, this-

251
00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:16,967
- Hey, watch it, sister!
- Kleptomaniac into Tracy Crockett?

252
00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:18,977
Leslie Howard managed to
do it in 85 minutes.

253
00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:21,809
This isn't a movie,
and it's definitely not Victorian England.

254
00:17:21,915 --> 00:17:23,815
You're as bad as all the rest.

255
00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:25,817
What a typically
chauvinist point of view...

256
00:17:25,919 --> 00:17:28,786
thinking women are pieces of clay
waiting to be molded by men!

257
00:17:28,889 --> 00:17:31,380
Nonsense, Laura! You molded me,
and look how well I turned out.

258
00:17:31,492 --> 00:17:34,017
Out of the question.
It's impossible, absurd, and dangerous!

259
00:17:34,127 --> 00:17:36,027
It's dramatic, daring
and unexpected!

260
00:17:36,129 --> 00:17:38,029
A woman's life may
hang in the balance!

261
00:17:38,131 --> 00:17:40,031
All the more reason
to take the bull by the horns!

262
00:17:40,133 --> 00:17:42,101
[ Whistles ]
Do I have any say in this?

263
00:17:42,202 --> 00:17:44,102
- Absolutely.
- Of course.

264
00:17:44,204 --> 00:17:48,504
If you think that my pretendin' to be Tracy
could save her life, then I say let's go for it!

265
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:50,975
- Ah! That-a-girl, Roxie!
- Tracy.

266
00:17:51,078 --> 00:17:53,137
We shall unveil our creation
tomorrow afternoon...

267
00:17:53,247 --> 00:17:56,182
at the cocktail party to welcome
the stockholders of Crockett Industries.

268
00:17:56,283 --> 00:17:59,480
Can't you see the reaction of the guilty
party when Tracy Crockett sweeps in?

269
00:17:59,586 --> 00:18:01,952
He or she will rush to wherever
the real Tracy is hidden...

270
00:18:02,055 --> 00:18:03,955
concerned that
she didn't get loose.

271
00:18:04,057 --> 00:18:06,548
Perhaps, even better still,
they will break down there and then...

272
00:18:06,660 --> 00:18:09,857
terrified that Tracy
can identify her kidnappers.

273
00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:12,830
I tell you, Laura. George Bernard Shaw
would have been proud of us.

274
00:18:12,933 --> 00:18:14,400
He workin' the case too?

275
00:18:16,970 --> 00:18:21,669
[ Whistling ]

276
00:18:24,711 --> 00:18:26,770
I mean, what is
taking so long, eh?

277
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:31,010
Relax. Mildred's trying to scrub out
20 years of hair spray.

278
00:18:31,118 --> 00:18:33,018
<i>Ta-dum, ta-dum.!</i>

279
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:35,145
Presenting
Miss Tracy Crockett.

280
00:18:36,456 --> 00:18:38,356
<i>[ Laura ]</i>
<i>Amazing.!</i>

281
00:18:38,458 --> 00:18:40,358
<i>[ Steele ]</i>
<i>An exact replica. Bravo.!</i>

282
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,630
- Oh!
- Oops.

283
00:18:43,730 --> 00:18:48,429
- " Eyetalian'' shoes.
I don't know how they walk on these. - Easy.

284
00:18:48,535 --> 00:18:50,526
No wonder they build
towers that lean.

285
00:18:50,637 --> 00:18:53,299
Yes, well, it appears we have
a way to go, yet, doesn't it?

286
00:18:53,407 --> 00:18:56,171
Yes. I mean, hair, makeup, clothes-
that's all external.

287
00:18:56,276 --> 00:19:01,213
Breeding, that's what distinguishes between
dross and gold. No offense intended.

288
00:19:01,315 --> 00:19:03,374
Oh, you can offend me
all you want.

289
00:19:03,483 --> 00:19:06,179
I don't understand half
the things you say anyway.

290
00:19:06,286 --> 00:19:10,484
The way a person walks, talks,
holds a cigarette, drinks a cup of tea-

291
00:19:10,591 --> 00:19:13,754
that's what we must instill
in our prot�g� here.

292
00:19:17,464 --> 00:19:19,364
- Pinky up.
- Legs crossed.

293
00:19:19,466 --> 00:19:21,366
Toe pointed.

294
00:19:21,468 --> 00:19:24,528
All that to drink
a lousy cup of tea?

295
00:19:24,638 --> 00:19:26,538
[ Laughs, Exhales ]

296
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,540
- [ Steele ] Ahem!
- Ooh!

297
00:19:28,642 --> 00:19:30,542
- Concentrate.
- [ Mildred ] Oh!

298
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:36,774
- Eyebrows arched.
- Chin tilted.

299
00:19:36,883 --> 00:19:39,283
Head cocked.

300
00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:43,413
I feel like
the hunchback of Notre Dame.

301
00:19:43,523 --> 00:19:46,720
[ Coughing ]

302
00:19:54,601 --> 00:19:56,626
I'm beat.

303
00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:58,796
Will you let me
sit down, please?

304
00:19:58,905 --> 00:20:01,965
Laura, demonstrate how a proper lady
walks across the room, please.

305
00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:04,202
Well, I couldn't with
all these people watching.

306
00:20:04,311 --> 00:20:06,279
Course you can. Come on.
Up you go. Up, up, up.

307
00:20:06,380 --> 00:20:08,314
- Really, I-
- There we go. Stand right there. Go.

308
00:20:08,415 --> 00:20:10,315
Voil�.

309
00:20:15,122 --> 00:20:17,022
Oh! Hmm.

310
00:20:20,527 --> 00:20:23,519
There we go.Just like Miss Holt.
Only better.

311
00:20:24,731 --> 00:20:27,291
[ Groans ]

312
00:20:30,637 --> 00:20:32,537
[ Sighs ]

313
00:20:51,324 --> 00:20:53,554
Oh, my!

314
00:20:53,660 --> 00:20:59,223
I think she's got it.
ByJove, I think she's got it.

315
00:20:59,332 --> 00:21:02,062
[ Laura And Mildred ]
ByJove, I think she's got it!

316
00:21:02,169 --> 00:21:06,071
I've got something, all right.
Sore puppies.

317
00:21:06,173 --> 00:21:08,801
Oh!
[ Grimaces ]

318
00:21:08,909 --> 00:21:12,345
Oh! I'm so sorry.

319
00:21:12,446 --> 00:21:16,576
Ah, ah, ah.
The rich never apologize.

320
00:21:16,683 --> 00:21:21,143
Right. So I broke your lousy egg.
Blow it out your ear.

321
00:21:36,737 --> 00:21:39,069
Miss Crockett!

322
00:21:39,172 --> 00:21:41,231
- Who's he?
- The family chauffeur.

323
00:21:41,341 --> 00:21:44,606
I was worried about you.
I thought I was supposed to pick you up.

324
00:21:44,711 --> 00:21:47,305
Oh, put your worries to rest, Eric.
Miss Crockett's just fine.

325
00:21:47,414 --> 00:21:49,405
Now, shall we join the party, ladies?

326
00:21:54,187 --> 00:21:56,087
<i> [ Doorbell Melody ]</i>

327
00:21:56,189 --> 00:22:00,182
- Oh, hey. They got a band!
- [ Chuckles ]

328
00:22:00,293 --> 00:22:02,193
Miss Tracy!

329
00:22:03,230 --> 00:22:05,460
How's it goin', pops?

330
00:22:05,565 --> 00:22:07,465
[ Mouths Words ]

331
00:22:07,567 --> 00:22:09,967
- I'll hit the safe.
- Okay.

332
00:22:11,338 --> 00:22:15,434
<i> [ Piano ]</i>

333
00:22:23,150 --> 00:22:27,052
Oh,jolly good. All the suspects are here.
[ Clears Throat ]

334
00:22:27,154 --> 00:22:32,251
Norman Baines, lovingly referred to
as Uncle Norman.

335
00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:35,487
<i>You're trying to keep him from gaining</i>
<i>control of your father's company...</i>

336
00:22:35,595 --> 00:22:38,996
<i>and at the moment, he's the most likely</i>
<i>person to have kidnapped you.</i>

337
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:43,597
<i>Junior Crockett,</i>
<i>your stepbrother.</i>

338
00:22:43,703 --> 00:22:47,833
<i>No doubt he's bitter about being</i>
<i>cut out ofhis late father's will.</i>

339
00:22:47,941 --> 00:22:52,469
And Claudette,
your stepmother.

340
00:22:52,579 --> 00:22:55,070
<i>Also a sore loser</i>
<i>from the looks of things.</i>

341
00:22:55,182 --> 00:22:58,413
Mmm! This is better
than <i>Dynasty.</i>

342
00:23:36,790 --> 00:23:40,191
I'll do the honors, pop.
Little heat there?

343
00:23:41,228 --> 00:23:42,957
<i>[ Roxie ]</i>
<i>Mm-hmm.!</i>

344
00:23:43,063 --> 00:23:45,759
Down a quart, huh?

345
00:23:45,866 --> 00:23:47,993
There you go.

346
00:23:48,101 --> 00:23:50,228
- We'll split the tips later.
- [ Chuckles ]

347
00:23:50,337 --> 00:23:52,567
Quite a unique sense of humor,
eh, Markham? Hmm?

348
00:23:52,672 --> 00:23:55,869
Appalling display.
People should know their place.

349
00:23:57,377 --> 00:23:59,242
<i>[ Norman ]</i>
<i>Tracy.!</i>

350
00:24:01,181 --> 00:24:05,242
- I did not expect to find you here.
- Oh, yeah? How come?

351
00:24:05,352 --> 00:24:07,377
Let me tell you something.

352
00:24:07,487 --> 00:24:11,184
If you think I'm gonna let you take over
the company, you are sadly mistaken.

353
00:24:11,291 --> 00:24:16,490
And if you persist in this lunacy,
I'm going to grind you to little pieces.

354
00:24:16,596 --> 00:24:19,429
You don't scare me, buster!

355
00:24:19,532 --> 00:24:21,432
Easy, Tracy.

356
00:24:21,534 --> 00:24:24,469
<i> [ Doorbell Melody ]</i>

357
00:24:24,571 --> 00:24:27,165
Don't they know any other songs?

358
00:24:27,274 --> 00:24:29,765
Keep an eye on Claudette
and Junior, okay?

359
00:24:32,312 --> 00:24:34,906
- [ Door Slams ]
- There you are!

360
00:24:35,015 --> 00:24:39,418
<i>No matter how many little henchmen you</i>
<i>send to take away the gifts he bought me...</i>

361
00:24:39,519 --> 00:24:41,510
you can't take away
my memories.

362
00:24:41,621 --> 00:24:43,782
Ross Crockett loved me
and you know it!

363
00:24:45,692 --> 00:24:48,855
You want your precious antiques?

364
00:24:48,962 --> 00:24:50,930
Take 'em, Claudette!

365
00:24:51,031 --> 00:24:55,229
That was quite
a floor show, Samantha.

366
00:24:55,335 --> 00:25:00,068
In the past, my husband's mistresses
have gone rather more quietly...

367
00:25:00,173 --> 00:25:04,803
<i>but there is always a first</i>
<i>and last time for eve</i>ryt<i>hing.</i>

368
00:25:06,780 --> 00:25:11,046
If you're quite finished,
you may go.

369
00:25:26,833 --> 00:25:31,202
Ah, Mr. Baines, if you're, uh, looking
for the loo, I don't know where it is, uh-

370
00:25:31,304 --> 00:25:33,363
[ Shouting ]
up here on the second floor!

371
00:25:33,473 --> 00:25:36,931
I've always prayed Tracy's
taste in men would improve.

372
00:25:37,043 --> 00:25:39,739
So much for
the power of prayer.

373
00:25:41,481 --> 00:25:43,472
[ Door Slams ]

374
00:26:21,221 --> 00:26:23,121
Oh.

375
00:26:24,491 --> 00:26:27,585
Lovely view up there.
Nice place to read.

376
00:26:33,767 --> 00:26:35,564
[ Mouths Words ]

377
00:26:36,970 --> 00:26:38,870
<i>And I said to him...</i>

378
00:26:38,972 --> 00:26:41,805
I'd like to see you try
that again, buster.

379
00:26:46,513 --> 00:26:48,811
Tracy, dear, I suddenly have
a need to get some fresh air.

380
00:26:48,915 --> 00:26:50,815
- Excuse me, gentlemen, please.
- Excuse me.

381
00:26:50,917 --> 00:26:52,885
Excuse me.
Say good day and good-bye.

382
00:26:55,021 --> 00:26:58,047
- Excuse me, please.
- [ Clanking ]

383
00:26:58,158 --> 00:27:00,626
Come here, will you?
You have a gift for this sort of thing.

384
00:27:00,727 --> 00:27:03,821
- For heaven's sakes.
- Well, don't you take things when you're on vacation?

385
00:27:03,930 --> 00:27:06,797
This isn't the Holiday Inn.

386
00:27:06,900 --> 00:27:10,392
Okay, okay. I gotta go to the head.
The coffee goes right through me.

387
00:27:10,503 --> 00:27:12,994
- There's a cabana right over there.
- Let's hope it's nailed down.

388
00:27:25,452 --> 00:27:27,784
Thanks for the warning.
I got out just in time.

389
00:27:27,887 --> 00:27:30,117
Oh, well, you missed
the grand entrance of the mistress.

390
00:27:30,223 --> 00:27:33,556
- Fill me in later. How is our Eliza Doolittle doing?
- Splendid.

391
00:27:33,660 --> 00:27:35,560
- Oh.
- Except no one panicked at the sight of her.

392
00:27:35,662 --> 00:27:37,562
<i>[ Woman Screams ]</i>

393
00:28:00,753 --> 00:28:02,653
[ Grunts, Murmurs ]

394
00:28:04,023 --> 00:28:05,923
Take her legs.

395
00:28:07,827 --> 00:28:11,263
- Oh.
- All right.

396
00:28:11,364 --> 00:28:14,731
- One, two.
- Okay. All right?

397
00:28:14,834 --> 00:28:16,927
All right.

398
00:28:19,005 --> 00:28:21,633
- [ Coughs ]
- Come on. Oh.

399
00:28:24,511 --> 00:28:26,411
Ah!

400
00:28:27,780 --> 00:28:30,578
Boy, this is one tough party.

401
00:28:39,092 --> 00:28:42,118
There's no doubt that someone
is willing to go to great pains...

402
00:28:42,228 --> 00:28:46,130
to insure that Tracy or Roxie misses that
stockholders' meeting tomorrow.

403
00:28:46,232 --> 00:28:48,132
Boy, you can say that again.

404
00:28:48,234 --> 00:28:50,702
It has to be Norman. He's the only one
who gains ifTracy doesn't make it.

405
00:28:50,803 --> 00:28:52,703
It's too bad you didn't
see who hit you.

406
00:28:52,805 --> 00:28:55,672
If you want me to say it was Norman,
I'll say it was Norman.

407
00:28:55,775 --> 00:28:57,675
<i>[ Doorbell Rings ]</i>

408
00:29:00,980 --> 00:29:03,380
Ooh! Mr. Steele!

409
00:29:03,483 --> 00:29:05,508
Surely you've seen a man
in a towel before, Mildred.

410
00:29:05,618 --> 00:29:07,711
Oh, well, you're not a man.
You're my boss.

411
00:29:07,820 --> 00:29:10,721
And we have to keep the integrity
of our respective roles.

412
00:29:10,823 --> 00:29:13,121
Old-fashioned thinking, Mildred.

413
00:29:13,226 --> 00:29:16,593
Well, how would you feel
if I came to the door wrapped in a towel?

414
00:29:16,696 --> 00:29:18,357
Quite right, Mildred.

415
00:29:18,464 --> 00:29:21,558
The employer-employee relationship must
remain sacrosanct. Thank you very much.

416
00:29:21,668 --> 00:29:24,398
Mildred, do you know what this is?

417
00:29:26,306 --> 00:29:29,503
It looks like a stock ledger,
but all the stocks have been torn out.

418
00:29:29,609 --> 00:29:31,770
Ah, missing stock, eh?

419
00:29:31,878 --> 00:29:35,143
Ah! The plot thickens.
ByJove, here we go.

420
00:29:37,116 --> 00:29:39,880
Thicker still.

421
00:29:39,986 --> 00:29:43,422
Seems Junior's been writing I.O.U.'s to
some of our better-known bookies.

422
00:29:43,523 --> 00:29:47,550
So, the young chap never met
a point spread he didn't like, eh?

423
00:29:47,660 --> 00:29:49,958
They must have gone to the old man
to make good on these.

424
00:29:50,063 --> 00:29:53,760
<i>Assuming Junior doesn't kick the habit,</i>
<i>now that the old man can't bail him out.</i>

425
00:29:53,866 --> 00:29:57,893
<i>But nothing that a nice, cushyjob</i>
<i>from Uncle Norman wouldn't cure.</i>

426
00:29:58,004 --> 00:30:00,905
Oh, look at this. Claudette and Norman
appear to be an item.

427
00:30:01,007 --> 00:30:04,738
I think it's time we paid
your Mrs. Crockett a visit.

428
00:30:04,844 --> 00:30:07,108
Oh, haven't you gone through
enough for one day, boss?

429
00:30:07,213 --> 00:30:11,115
[ Sighs ] Dedication doesn't punch
a time clock, Mildred.

430
00:30:11,217 --> 00:30:13,583
Lock the door behind us.
Make sure no one gets in.

431
00:30:13,686 --> 00:30:17,884
Mildred, see if you can make heads or
tails of any of these ledger sheets, okay?

432
00:30:17,991 --> 00:30:19,891
- Okay.
- Bye, Roxie.

433
00:30:19,993 --> 00:30:21,358
- Miss Holt.
- Mm-hmm.

434
00:30:21,461 --> 00:30:22,951
Thank you.

435
00:30:24,430 --> 00:30:27,024
Thank you very much.

436
00:30:27,133 --> 00:30:30,398
Boy, he's really somethin'.

437
00:30:30,503 --> 00:30:32,971
I'm even beginnin'
to like the way he talks.

438
00:30:33,072 --> 00:30:36,473
Claws in, honey.
He's spoken for.

439
00:30:41,047 --> 00:30:45,177
<i>

440
00:30:49,455 --> 00:30:52,447
Oh, it's you.
Are you expected?

441
00:30:52,558 --> 00:30:55,652
- Is Mrs. Crockett at home?
- Come back in the morning.

442
00:30:55,762 --> 00:30:58,230
We appreciate that we're putting you out,
but it's important.

443
00:30:58,331 --> 00:31:00,299
It concerns Tracy's welfare.

444
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:05,099
Is that so?
Well, what about my welfare, hmm?

445
00:31:05,204 --> 00:31:07,104
I'm not getting any younger.

446
00:31:07,206 --> 00:31:11,404
I can't be gallivanting around answering
the blasted door in the dead of night.

447
00:31:11,511 --> 00:31:13,979
It's time you young people
showed some respect.

448
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,776
It must be very difficult for you
since Mr. Crockett passed on, I'm sure.

449
00:31:16,883 --> 00:31:19,784
Forty years I've been with him...

450
00:31:19,886 --> 00:31:22,980
and not once did
he give me a kind word.

451
00:31:23,089 --> 00:31:27,492
Now he's dead.
And what did he leave me? Squat!

452
00:31:27,593 --> 00:31:30,289
Mmm.
That was his prerogative.

453
00:31:30,396 --> 00:31:36,335
However, since I no longer have him to answer
to, my prerogative is to tell you to buzz off!

454
00:31:36,436 --> 00:31:38,802
<i>Let them in, Markham,</i>
<i>please.</i>

455
00:31:38,905 --> 00:31:42,170
Oh, you want them?
You let them in.

456
00:31:45,011 --> 00:31:46,911
You're those, uh,
friends ofTracy's...

457
00:31:47,013 --> 00:31:49,243
the ones who saved her from
drowning today, aren't you?

458
00:31:49,349 --> 00:31:51,476
I trust you weren't too disappointed,
Mrs. Crockett.

459
00:31:51,584 --> 00:31:53,484
Disappointed?
What are you driving at?

460
00:31:53,586 --> 00:31:56,646
We thought you might prefer
Norman Baines as chairman of the board.

461
00:31:56,756 --> 00:31:59,691
Well, as a matter of fact,
I'd rather it were Tracy.

462
00:31:59,792 --> 00:32:02,352
Ever since Ross became ill and
Norman's been acting president...

463
00:32:02,462 --> 00:32:04,953
our stock has dropped precipitously.

464
00:32:05,064 --> 00:32:09,694
Now Norman intends to write off
nearly $40 million in losses...

465
00:32:09,802 --> 00:32:12,635
due to a building he ordered constructed
and then abandoned.

466
00:32:12,739 --> 00:32:15,401
Everything all right,
Claudette?

467
00:32:15,508 --> 00:32:17,738
Be right there, Reggie.

468
00:32:21,414 --> 00:32:24,975
- [ Chuckles ]
- Any bets you haven't covered, Mrs. Crockett?

469
00:32:26,185 --> 00:32:28,483
None that I can think of.

470
00:32:31,324 --> 00:32:34,885
- That's it!
- If my sister never shows up...

471
00:32:34,994 --> 00:32:39,260
and I'm made chairman of the board, that'd
mean I'd get to keep all this stuff, right?

472
00:32:39,365 --> 00:32:41,833
I gotta find Mr. Steele.
I think I know who's responsible...

473
00:32:41,934 --> 00:32:43,925
- for Tracy's disappearance.
- [ Doorknob Rattles ]

474
00:32:44,036 --> 00:32:46,504
- <i>[ Eric ] Tracy, love, are you awake?</i>
- [ Mouths Words ]

475
00:32:47,774 --> 00:32:50,334
Sorry we crossed wires
earlier today.

476
00:32:50,443 --> 00:32:52,843
<i>Oh, it is so good to</i>
<i>be alone with you again.</i>

477
00:32:52,945 --> 00:32:55,038
Uh, listen,
it's gettin' kinda late...

478
00:32:55,148 --> 00:32:58,174
<i>and I've got a big day</i>
<i>tomorrow and...</i>

479
00:32:58,284 --> 00:33:00,184
and I got-
I'm gettin' this headache.

480
00:33:00,286 --> 00:33:03,380
And my toenails ain't dry yet!
So why don't we just eighty-six this-

481
00:33:05,258 --> 00:33:07,624
- [ Grunts, Inhales ]
- How about a drink?

482
00:33:07,727 --> 00:33:10,252
Well, uh, no!

483
00:33:10,363 --> 00:33:12,331
<i>[ Roxie ]</i>
<i>Mmm.</i>

484
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:16,025
<i>[ Roxie Sighing ]</i>
<i>Mmm.</i>

485
00:33:19,472 --> 00:33:21,372
<i>Mmm.</i>

486
00:33:21,474 --> 00:33:24,500
Hey, I'm kinda hungry.

487
00:33:24,610 --> 00:33:28,068
Why don't you run out and get me
a burger, huh? Get yourself somethin' too.

488
00:33:28,181 --> 00:33:31,150
- If I didn't know better, I'd think
you were trying to get rid of me. - <i>[ Doorbell ]</i>

489
00:33:31,250 --> 00:33:33,150
- Who the hell is that?
- I'll get it.

490
00:33:37,190 --> 00:33:40,887
[ Southern Accent ] Howdy, Tracy Crockett.
I'm Belle Krebs of Houston.

491
00:33:40,993 --> 00:33:44,326
Now, I am sorry I missed that
beer bust today, honey.

492
00:33:44,430 --> 00:33:49,265
But I was moving a thousand head
of cattle up to market in Abilene.

493
00:33:49,368 --> 00:33:53,134
<i>Now, listen up here. I got me</i>
<i>a passel of your Crockett stock.</i>

494
00:33:53,239 --> 00:33:56,367
And I am fixin' to give you
my vote tomorrow- [ Chuckles ]

495
00:33:56,476 --> 00:33:59,741
Provided that you and I spend a little
time to get to know one another.

496
00:33:59,846 --> 00:34:02,713
Know what I mean?
Hey, there.

497
00:34:02,815 --> 00:34:06,342
Go on down there and get us
two-fifths of bourbon there, boy.

498
00:34:06,452 --> 00:34:09,182
'Cause me and Miss Crockett's
got some jawbonin' to do.

499
00:34:10,790 --> 00:34:16,092
Oh, Lord. That's prime, honey.
That's real prime.

500
00:34:16,195 --> 00:34:19,596
And don't you believe I don't know my meat.
[ Chuckles ]

501
00:34:19,699 --> 00:34:21,599
What are you
lookin' at there, boy?

502
00:34:21,701 --> 00:34:24,169
Go on, get.
Yee-haw!

503
00:34:27,106 --> 00:34:29,404
I'll speak to you tomorrow, Tracy.

504
00:34:29,509 --> 00:34:32,637
- That's a spirited young buck, honey.
- <i>[ Door Closes ]</i>

505
00:34:32,745 --> 00:34:35,543
- [ Whispers ] Oh, my.
- [ Sighs, Whimpers ]

506
00:34:39,485 --> 00:34:43,012
Oh, good.
I got something to show you.

507
00:34:43,122 --> 00:34:46,091
These ledger pages that
Ross Crockett had in his safe...

508
00:34:46,192 --> 00:34:50,720
show that Norman Baines was intentionally
causing the company to suffer losses...

509
00:34:50,830 --> 00:34:53,230
so the shareholders would
sell their stock, the price would drop...

510
00:34:53,332 --> 00:34:55,232
and he could
buy them up cheaply.

511
00:34:55,334 --> 00:34:57,962
He owns a lot more stock
now than anyone realizes.

512
00:34:58,070 --> 00:35:02,063
- So, Norman's our man after all.
- At your service.

513
00:35:07,113 --> 00:35:11,345
It's amazing how quickly
a gun gets to the heart of things.

514
00:35:11,450 --> 00:35:13,816
Cuts out all the pre-
Just who are you?

515
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:16,013
Tracy, uh, Crockett.

516
00:35:16,122 --> 00:35:19,990
Whatever else she is,
Tracy Crockett is a lady.

517
00:35:20,092 --> 00:35:23,357
I've known truck drivers
more ladylike than you.

518
00:35:23,462 --> 00:35:25,623
Yeah? Who?

519
00:35:25,731 --> 00:35:27,858
- Nice work, Professor Higgins.
- [ Clears Throat ]

520
00:35:27,967 --> 00:35:30,993
If you thought she was an impostor,
why didn't you unmask her at the party?

521
00:35:31,103 --> 00:35:33,571
Well, why should I?

522
00:35:33,673 --> 00:35:35,868
She doesn't pose any threat.

523
00:35:35,975 --> 00:35:38,910
No shareholder would vote
for someone like this.

524
00:35:39,011 --> 00:35:41,206
Frankly...

525
00:35:41,314 --> 00:35:47,253
Claudette,Junior and I can hardly wait to
eat her alive at the shareholders' meeting.

526
00:35:47,353 --> 00:35:50,880
- You kidnapped Tracy then?
- She <i>was</i> kidnapped, eh?

527
00:35:50,990 --> 00:35:54,517
Well, I have no responsibility for that,
as you well know now.

528
00:35:54,627 --> 00:35:58,154
I have nearly enough shares
to defeat her anyway.

529
00:35:58,264 --> 00:36:01,927
Now, that-
That's exactly what I came for.

530
00:36:02,034 --> 00:36:04,696
I knew Ross made a record
of that information.

531
00:36:04,804 --> 00:36:06,965
Obviously,
he never could get it to Tracy.

532
00:36:07,073 --> 00:36:09,439
Tough that.

533
00:36:09,542 --> 00:36:13,205
Frankly, I think you should
consider the possibility...

534
00:36:13,312 --> 00:36:17,442
that Tracy just might have
flaked out and left town.

535
00:36:17,550 --> 00:36:19,450
Have a pleasant evening.

536
00:36:22,221 --> 00:36:25,213
Boy, I really blew it, didn't I?

537
00:36:25,324 --> 00:36:28,418
- Oh, you gave it your best shot, Roxie.
- <i>[ Phone Rings ]</i>

538
00:36:31,497 --> 00:36:33,397
Crockett residence.

539
00:36:34,533 --> 00:36:37,058
Yes.

540
00:36:37,169 --> 00:36:39,160
Yes, I understand.

541
00:36:39,271 --> 00:36:42,104
Um, well, I'll have someone
come down immediately.

542
00:36:42,208 --> 00:36:45,143
Oh- Oh, and thank you
for calling us first.

543
00:36:46,345 --> 00:36:48,245
That was airport security.

544
00:36:48,347 --> 00:36:52,113
Tracy's car has been parked
for 48 hours in a one-hour zone.

545
00:36:52,218 --> 00:36:55,244
They're going to tow it
if we don't send someone down to move it.

546
00:36:55,354 --> 00:36:57,345
The airport?

547
00:36:59,959 --> 00:37:02,757
Thank you. Thanks.

548
00:37:27,887 --> 00:37:29,980
- Very nice.
- Thank you.

549
00:37:40,766 --> 00:37:42,996
I guess this didn't mean too much
to her after all.

550
00:37:45,204 --> 00:37:48,833
Mud and cement.
It's still damp.

551
00:37:50,242 --> 00:37:52,301
<i>[ Steele ]</i>
<i>We have been blind.</i>

552
00:37:52,411 --> 00:37:55,539
We have been assuming
ifTracy was kidnapped, the kidnapper took her to gain control...

553
00:37:55,648 --> 00:37:57,673
- through Norman taking over the corporation.
- Right.

554
00:37:57,783 --> 00:38:01,685
We forgot what happens to Ross's estate
ifTracy isn't elected chairman.

555
00:38:01,787 --> 00:38:04,153
- It goes to charity.
- And here's the list.

556
00:38:04,256 --> 00:38:06,156
Including a charitable organization...

557
00:38:06,258 --> 00:38:10,490
which just happens to be controlled
by Crockett's mistress, Samantha Donahue.

558
00:38:21,207 --> 00:38:23,107
- Miss Donahue?
- That's right.

559
00:38:23,209 --> 00:38:27,111
We're from Jaglom and Jaglom,
uh, the investment counseling firm.

560
00:38:27,213 --> 00:38:30,182
We're checking out charitable organizations
to see which might be suitable...

561
00:38:30,282 --> 00:38:32,250
for our clients to make
contributions to.

562
00:38:32,351 --> 00:38:34,979
Oh, well, as you can see,
we're just getting started here...

563
00:38:35,087 --> 00:38:37,021
but what would you
like to know?

564
00:38:37,123 --> 00:38:42,527
- What kind of a service
does the Lover's Fund provide? - <i>Quite simple.</i>

565
00:38:42,628 --> 00:38:45,324
We provide money
for brokenhearted lovers.

566
00:38:45,431 --> 00:38:48,958
If you've given your time,
your energy, and your love...

567
00:38:49,068 --> 00:38:54,028
and your partner has upped and left you or
died, we make sure you're taken care of.

568
00:38:54,140 --> 00:38:57,507
Oh! Shouldn't you be able
to provide for yourself?

569
00:38:57,610 --> 00:39:01,239
<i>Some of us can.</i>
<i>Some of us don't want to.</i>

570
00:39:01,347 --> 00:39:04,145
It is for the latter
that this charity exists.

571
00:39:04,250 --> 00:39:07,310
We help avoid messy and
expensive palimony suits...

572
00:39:07,419 --> 00:39:10,252
and, of course, all contributions
made to us are tax deductible.

573
00:39:10,356 --> 00:39:14,588
Oh, what an enlightened approach, eh?
What sort of capitalization do you have?

574
00:39:14,693 --> 00:39:19,130
We expect to be very well endowed...
by an anonymous donor.

575
00:39:19,231 --> 00:39:22,291
- Hmm.
- That wouldn't be Ross Crockett.

576
00:39:22,401 --> 00:39:24,631
How would you know?

577
00:39:24,737 --> 00:39:26,637
I think you two
had better leave.

578
00:39:26,739 --> 00:39:28,502
Where have you hidden Tracy?

579
00:39:28,607 --> 00:39:30,939
Did Claudette send you here?

580
00:39:31,043 --> 00:39:34,410
Listen, I don't know anything about Tracy
missing, if that's what you're getting at.

581
00:39:34,513 --> 00:39:36,640
And I don't need
any of Ross's estate...

582
00:39:36,749 --> 00:39:40,116
because he took very good
care of me before he died.

583
00:39:40,219 --> 00:39:43,017
The missing stock.
When did he give you this?

584
00:39:43,122 --> 00:39:45,283
The last time I saw him.

585
00:39:45,391 --> 00:39:49,157
He'd been out at that building that
Norman's putting up and going bust on.

586
00:39:49,261 --> 00:39:51,821
Ross had these in his briefcase,
and he signed them over to me...

587
00:39:51,931 --> 00:39:55,298
in appreciation for being one of the few
people in this world that he can trust.

588
00:39:55,401 --> 00:39:58,029
That's it. That building!
The construction site.

589
00:39:58,137 --> 00:40:00,332
The mud and cement on Tracy's car!

590
00:40:00,439 --> 00:40:02,339
Of course. The kidnapping's
an inside job.

591
00:40:02,441 --> 00:40:04,807
What better place to keep her than
a building that's already abandoned?

592
00:40:04,910 --> 00:40:06,400
Thank you very much.
Good day.

593
00:40:08,013 --> 00:40:10,675
Mildred, get Roxie fixed up and over
to the stockholders' meeting.

594
00:40:10,783 --> 00:40:12,842
Then stall.
Do whatever you can.

595
00:40:12,952 --> 00:40:16,547
We'll get there soon.
With Tracy, I hope.

596
00:40:18,824 --> 00:40:21,725
- [ Mildred Whispering ]
- I can't! They're gonna see right through me.

597
00:40:21,827 --> 00:40:24,421
- No, they won't.
- I'm gonna make a fool of myself and my sister.

598
00:40:24,530 --> 00:40:27,624
-Just talk about corporate
responsibility and fiscal pride. - No-

599
00:40:27,733 --> 00:40:31,669
If they ask you a question,
you ask them to repeat it.

600
00:40:31,770 --> 00:40:35,900
If they ask you what you think about
something, you ask <i>them</i> what they think about it.

601
00:40:36,008 --> 00:40:37,976
Tell 'em you have the issue
under study.

602
00:40:38,077 --> 00:40:40,910
Believe me, honey.
It's worked in Washington for years.

603
00:40:55,060 --> 00:40:56,960
- She's gotta be here somewhere.
- [ Sighs ]

604
00:40:57,062 --> 00:40:59,189
Let's go.

605
00:41:01,433 --> 00:41:05,335
[ Sighs ] I just don't see anyplace
she could be hidden.

606
00:41:05,437 --> 00:41:07,337
Alive, you mean.

607
00:41:12,745 --> 00:41:14,940
Think! Think!

608
00:41:15,047 --> 00:41:17,607
If you were a kidnapper,
where would you hide her?

609
00:41:18,651 --> 00:41:20,551
Oh, well.

610
00:41:30,829 --> 00:41:35,459
- That's quite a plan they had.
- Yes, gas pumps and all.

611
00:41:35,567 --> 00:41:39,025
Gas pumps? For gas pumps,
you need gas tanks.

612
00:41:39,138 --> 00:41:41,299
Big underground gas tanks.

613
00:41:45,611 --> 00:41:47,511
[ Steele ]
Somewhere over there.

614
00:41:53,919 --> 00:41:56,410
Yeah, there it is.

615
00:41:56,522 --> 00:41:58,422
- [ Clunking ]
- Uh, wait.

616
00:41:59,458 --> 00:42:01,358
There it is!

617
00:42:06,565 --> 00:42:09,329
Tracy! Tracy!

618
00:42:11,570 --> 00:42:14,664
<i>[ Tracy ]</i>
<i>No.! Don't bother.!</i>

619
00:42:14,773 --> 00:42:18,436
<i>It doesn't have nearly the view</i>
<i>I was led to believe it had.</i>

620
00:42:19,578 --> 00:42:22,342
[ Chattering ]

621
00:42:30,389 --> 00:42:32,914
When are they gonna
get here, Miss Krebs?

622
00:42:33,025 --> 00:42:35,323
Soon, Roxie. Soon.

623
00:42:38,397 --> 00:42:40,922
Morning. Norman Baines
of Crockett Industries.

624
00:42:41,033 --> 00:42:43,763
I'd like to make a special
introduction this morning.

625
00:42:43,869 --> 00:42:47,771
I've, uh, I'd like you to meet
the daughter of our late, great chairman.

626
00:42:49,074 --> 00:42:51,668
<i>Attending her first</i>
<i>stockholders'meeting...</i>

627
00:42:51,777 --> 00:42:54,109
- Miss Tracy Crockett.
- <i>[ Applause ]</i>

628
00:42:54,213 --> 00:42:56,306
- Go get 'em, kid.
- [ Grunts ]

629
00:43:01,787 --> 00:43:04,153
Now, why don't you
just say a few words?

630
00:43:04,256 --> 00:43:07,714
Then, perhaps, we could
make an open forum for questions.

631
00:43:12,731 --> 00:43:15,700
Tell 'em about your
last trip to Rome, Tracy.

632
00:43:17,236 --> 00:43:20,728
- Did you bring your slides?
- [ Laughter]

633
00:43:23,142 --> 00:43:27,704
Tracy, what do you see as the future
for Crockett Industries?

634
00:43:27,813 --> 00:43:30,873
What can these good
shareholders look forward to?

635
00:43:30,983 --> 00:43:33,918
- Well-
- [ Feedback ]

636
00:43:34,019 --> 00:43:37,318
<i>[ Murmuring ]</i>

637
00:43:40,292 --> 00:43:42,658
Well-
[ Chuckles ]

638
00:43:42,761 --> 00:43:44,661
I don't know.

639
00:43:44,763 --> 00:43:47,561
But I am
studying the issue.

640
00:43:47,666 --> 00:43:52,831
Would you like to leave and then
come back after you've finished studying?

641
00:43:52,938 --> 00:43:55,907
Don't worry, Tracy.
Everything's gonna be all right.

642
00:43:56,008 --> 00:44:00,308
Yeah. Sure it is.
Father's estate will go to charity.

643
00:44:00,412 --> 00:44:05,850
And Norman, Claudette,Junior and
Samantha will live happily ever after.

644
00:44:05,951 --> 00:44:09,352
I just wish I knew which
one of them did this to me.

645
00:44:10,823 --> 00:44:13,690
<i>But all I remember is</i>
<i>someone with a ski mask...</i>

646
00:44:13,792 --> 00:44:15,692
and then chloroform
and lights out.

647
00:44:15,794 --> 00:44:18,763
<i>Too bad your boyfriend</i>
<i>wasn't around to protect you.</i>

648
00:44:18,864 --> 00:44:22,095
Mmm.
Rudolpho's in Rome.

649
00:44:22,201 --> 00:44:24,032
I was referring to Eric.

650
00:44:24,136 --> 00:44:26,627
What are you talking about?

651
00:44:26,738 --> 00:44:28,933
Eric's our chauffeur.

652
00:44:31,076 --> 00:44:32,976
Then showing up last night
was just an act...

653
00:44:33,078 --> 00:44:35,342
to see if he could put Roxie
out of commission too.

654
00:44:35,447 --> 00:44:37,972
- So Eric kidnapped Tracy.
- That's right.

655
00:44:38,083 --> 00:44:41,780
And if you remember, after Roxie arrived
at the party, he left immediately.

656
00:44:41,887 --> 00:44:45,152
To see ifTracy had gotten loose.
He must be working for somebody.

657
00:44:45,257 --> 00:44:47,657
We better make our move.
He may be after Roxie right now.

658
00:44:47,759 --> 00:44:49,886
- Warm it up, Fred.
- [ Engine Starts ]

659
00:44:54,933 --> 00:44:59,267
Tracy, I know that you hold
the present management responsible...

660
00:44:59,371 --> 00:45:01,601
for the company's recent losses.

661
00:45:01,707 --> 00:45:05,507
What would <i>you</i> do
to cut the losses?

662
00:45:05,611 --> 00:45:09,980
I'd can the present management,
startin' with you.

663
00:45:10,082 --> 00:45:13,415
[ Laughter, Applause ]

664
00:45:18,724 --> 00:45:22,023
<i>[ Claudette ] Don't tell me that you're</i>
<i>in favor of wasting even more...</i>

665
00:45:22,127 --> 00:45:24,357
<i>than the $40 million,</i>
<i>which has already been spent</i>-

666
00:45:24,463 --> 00:45:26,363
[ Grunting ]

667
00:45:26,465 --> 00:45:28,558
Don't be in such a hurry, mate.

668
00:45:28,667 --> 00:45:32,034
- Why don't you tell us
who hired you to abduct Tracy? - Here you go.

669
00:45:32,137 --> 00:45:34,867
- Huh?
- <i>[ Roxie ] Raffle it off.</i>

670
00:45:34,973 --> 00:45:39,433
- <i>[ Roxie ] I mean, why should</i>
<i>we all lose 40 million bucks?</i> - Eric Alan Markham?

671
00:45:39,545 --> 00:45:43,379
Markham? Laura, does this mean...
the butler did it?

672
00:45:43,482 --> 00:45:45,973
- <i>[ Roxie ]... 1 0 bucks a head and we're even.!</i>
- [ Gunshot ]

673
00:45:46,084 --> 00:45:48,348
<i>[ Crowd Screaming ]</i>

674
00:45:51,924 --> 00:45:54,119
Stop moving, damn you!

675
00:45:54,226 --> 00:45:57,855
- What did I ever do to <i>you?</i>
- Nothing personal.

676
00:45:57,963 --> 00:46:01,399
But there are values
in this world that must be upheld.

677
00:46:01,500 --> 00:46:05,027
And if you choose to trample them,
you do so at your own risk.

678
00:46:05,137 --> 00:46:07,105
Values? What values?

679
00:46:07,206 --> 00:46:10,175
You're the one tryin' to kill me!
Don't I have some value?

680
00:46:10,275 --> 00:46:14,575
A woman does not belong at the head
of a major corporation!

681
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:18,878
Yeah? Well, where does she belong?
Servin' cheeseburgers at a truck stop?

682
00:46:18,984 --> 00:46:22,420
- Sure, that's fine.
- Dad! Look out!

683
00:46:23,422 --> 00:46:26,016
Good shot.

684
00:46:27,426 --> 00:46:29,894
[ Grunting ]

685
00:46:31,396 --> 00:46:34,229
Ladies and gentlemen,
I believe this meeting is adjourned.

686
00:46:37,002 --> 00:46:39,095
<i>[ Knocking ]</i>

687
00:46:42,207 --> 00:46:44,107
Seeing visitors?

688
00:46:44,209 --> 00:46:46,040
Sure.

689
00:46:46,144 --> 00:46:48,237
Ah.

690
00:46:59,958 --> 00:47:02,085
So, you're Tracy, huh?

691
00:47:16,975 --> 00:47:19,170
- Did you see the look on their faces?
- Mmm.

692
00:47:19,278 --> 00:47:24,011
But for the luck of the draw, Roxie could have
been the heiress and Tracy the waitress.

693
00:47:24,116 --> 00:47:27,176
A person can't let his birthright
stop him. Look at you.

694
00:47:27,286 --> 00:47:30,278
Well, I've been lucky.
I've encountered good opportunities.

695
00:47:30,389 --> 00:47:32,289
And you've made
the most of them.

696
00:47:32,391 --> 00:47:35,155
However you began,
you've come a long way, baby.

697
00:47:35,260 --> 00:47:37,421
I, perhaps-

698
00:47:37,529 --> 00:47:41,556
Are you insinuating that there are those close
to you who haven't been as fortunate...

699
00:47:41,667 --> 00:47:43,862
or haven't had
the same abilities?

700
00:47:43,969 --> 00:47:49,202
Laura, there are bits and pieces in my past
that are as obscure to me as they are to you.

701
00:47:49,308 --> 00:47:53,540
And it's at moments like this
that I realize they're less painful that way.

702
00:47:53,645 --> 00:47:56,614
Would you be adverse to,
uh, changing the subject?

703
00:47:56,715 --> 00:47:58,615
Hmm.

704
00:47:58,717 --> 00:48:01,208
Dinner and a movie,
Mr. Steele?

705
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:03,515
I'd like that very much,
Miss Holt.

706
00:48:37,889 --> 00:48:39,083
[ Mews ]

707
00:48:39,133 --> 00:48:43,683
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